HEALING WITH SEXUAL ENERGY
Sex for Health, Relationships and
Spirituality
By Walter Last
Sex, or rather sexual energy, is a
potent force in regard to our health, intimate relationships and spirituality, but
the extent of this is rarely realized. Fortunately we can now understand much
of the prevailing dynamics due to recent advances in the neurochemistry of the
brain. The observed effects can partly be explained with biochemistry and
partly with bioenergetics.
THE NEUROCHEMISTRY OF SEX
Orgasm is generally regarded as the ultimate
goal of recreational sex. Wilhelm Reich was the first scientist to describe the
nature and purpose of the orgasm as a discharge of excess bio-energy with the
additional liberation of feeling energy, and he also recognized the negative
consequences of blocked sexual energies.
Unfortunately, in addition to exciting peaks,
orgasms tend to produce powerful negative side-effects that are only now
becoming better understood. This is due to predictable trends in hormonal
activity which seem to be similar in all mammals to ensure certain evolutionary
objectives, especially the wide mixing of gene pools and the safe raising of
offspring. This is achieved with the following neurochemical changes.
The
main players are dopamine, the reward hormone; prolactin, the hormone of
satiation; oxytocin, the cuddle hormone, and levels of androgen receptors,
which all powerfully affect our mood, our desire for intimacy, our perception
of our mate, as well as our susceptibility to addictive activities and
substances. These hormones can also have different but generally related
functions.
Additionally the
stimulant phenylethylamine (PEA) is involved, which is also present in cocoa
and chocolate and elevates energy, mood and attention. PEA is produced
in greater amounts when one is in love; conversely a deficiency (common in
manic-depressives) causes unhappy feelings.
When we first fall in
love we become bonded by rising PEA, oxytocin and dopamine levels When we are
sexually aroused by close contact our dopamine level rises further and at the
time of orgasm we have a dopamine brainstorm which one researcher compared to
the effects of heroin on the brain. Dopamine is active in all addictions, even
in people who have forgotten what sex is. Most of this activity is in the
limbic system, the oldest part of the brain.
Excess
|
Deficient
|
"Normal"
|
Addictions
|
Addictions
|
Motivated
|
Anxiety
|
Depression
|
Feelings of
well-being, satisfaction
|
Compulsions
|
Anhedonia -
no pleasure, world looks colorless
|
Pleasure,
reward in accomplishing tasks
|
Sexual fetishes
|
Lack of ambition and drive
|
Healthy libido
|
Sexual addiction
|
Inability to "love”
|
Good feelings toward others
|
|
Unhealthy risk-taking |
Low libido
|
Healthy bonding
|
Gambling
|
Erectile dysfunction
|
Healthy risk taking
|
Compulsive activities
|
No remorse
about personal behavior
|
Sound choices
|
Aggression
|
ADD/ADHD
|
Realistic expectations
|
Psychosis
|
Social anxiety disorder
|
Maternal/Paternal love
|
|
Schizophrenia |
Antisocial behavior
|
|
(From http://www.reuniting.info/science/sex_and_addiction)
After orgasm dopamine levels fall sharply with the usual withdrawal symptoms. This reaction tends to be immediate in males and delayed in females. Also prolactin levels rise, and androgen receptors fall after orgasm. Low testosterone is associated with irritability and anger. In sexually-satiated rats it has been shown that serotonin and endorphin levels also rise, and this also decreases dopamine and raises prolactin levels. Oxytocin levels fall after conventional orgasm but remaining in close contact may help to counter this drop and sustain oxytocin levels.
Behavioral changes from this disturbed hormone equilibrium have been noticed for up to
two weeks. During this time we may be more irritable, dissatisfied, anxious or
depressed, and instead of seeing the good side of our mate, we are now
painfully aware of his or her shortcomings. This is exactly the same process
and length of time prolactin levels need to recover during withdrawal
from cocaine.
Symptoms associated with excess Prolactin
|
Women |
Men |
|
Loss of libido |
Loss of libido |
|
Mood changes / depression |
Mood changes / depression |
|
Hostility, anxiety |
Impotence |
|
Headache |
Headache |
|
Menopausal symptoms, |
Infertility |
|
Signs of increased testosterone levels |
Decreased testosterone levels |
|
Weight gain |
Weight gain |
|
Intercourse may become painful because of vaginal dryness |
|
(From http://www.reuniting.info/science/sex_and_addiction)
Initially, during the honeymoon period of our relationship, we
remain strongly bonded by high oxytocin levels, and quickly overcome our
hormonal blues by having more sex. Initially sex stimulates us to crave for
more sex. This leads to rapid rises and falls in dopamine levels and
corresponding rapid emotional fluctuations in our relationship. Later we become
less and less interested in sex with our partner (perhaps because we subconsciously begin to associate him or her with
the “lows” of the cycle, or perhaps because we grow tired of being used as a
fix, and therefore feel less attraction), and now we
try to prop up our dopamine level by becoming addicted to some kind of food or
drug, or by becoming interested in a new sexual partner. Basically this type of
behavior is the same for humans, primates, mammals and reptiles because it
originates from the primitive part of our brain.
Further evidence of a
lasting post-orgasm hangover comes from sexually exhausted male rats. The
number of androgen receptors in the hypothalamus declines, reducing the
effectiveness of testosterone and changing sexual behavior. These changes last
for about seven days, corresponding to a lack of libido of the rats.
In addition to serving as a sexual brake,
prolactin also affects our moods and behavior somewhat like a hormone of
resignation. For example caged wild monkeys initially had high levels of the
stress hormone cortisol but gradually prolactin levels rose as they became
resigned to their fate. Prolactin levels were highest after seven months. With
raised prolactin levels they do not mate, which looks like the same effect that
we see in long-term relationships without close oxytocin-producing bonding.
The Coolidge-Effect
In
experiments with rats it has been observed that after vigorous copulation with
a new partner, male rats soon completely ignore this partner, but when a new
female is introduced, they immediately are revitalized - at least sufficiently
to become sexually active once more. This can be repeated again and again until
the male rat is completely exhausted.
This
phenomenon has been called the “Coolidge Effect” after an American president.
On a visit to a farm his wife had been shown a rooster who could copulate with
his hens all day-long day after day. She liked that idea and asked the farmer
to let the president know about this. After hearing it, President Coolidge
thought for a moment and asked: ”Does he do that with the same hen?” “No, sir” answered the farmer. “Please tell
that to Mrs. Coolidge” said the president (http://www.reuniting.info/science/coolidge_effect).
Not only has the Coolidge effect been
observed in all tested male animals, but also in females. Female rodents for
instance flirt more and present themselves more attractively when observed by
new males than in the presence of males with whom they had already sex.
Another experiment indicates that
the cause of this effect may be a rush of dopamine. When rats were taught to
pull a lever to stimulate their own reward center, they would forgo eating and
copulating, and just continue to stimulate themselves until they were totally
exhausted.
The Cuddle Hormone
The dopamine system is obviously designed to produce genetic
variety by inducing us to mate with as many different partners as possible.
There is, however, a hormone that counteracts the emotional rollercoaster
effects of dopamine, and that is oxytocin, the cuddle-hormone. Oxytocin also
counteracts fear, which is associated with high cortisol levels and stress, see chart below.
Oxytocin leads to strong pair-bonding. In pair-bonded animals
mating, and with this the dopamine rollercoaster, stops with the rise of
prolactin after successful fertilization, and now oxytocin ensures that both
parents cooperate for the survival of their offspring. Humans could do the
same, mate only to produce offspring and then abstain from sex. This might produce
an emotionally stable relationship for life, but most of us would also find it
utterly boring. Paramahansa Yogananda
wrote this is exactly what his parents did (Autobiography of a Yogi).
The
Benefits of Oxytocin
|
Fear - Cortisol |
Love - Oxytocin |
|
Aggression |
Anti-stress hormone |
|
Arousal, Anxiety, Feeling stressed-out |
Feeling calm and connected, Increased curiosity |
|
Activates addictions |
Lessens cravings & addictions |
|
Suppresses libido |
Increases sexual receptivity |
|
Associated with depression |
Positive feelings |
|
Can be toxic to brain cells |
Facilitates learning |
|
Breaks down muscles, bones and joints |
Repairs, heals and restores |
|
Weakens immune system |
Faster wound healing |
|
Increases pain |
Diminishes sense of pain |
|
Clogs arteries, Promotes heart disease and high blood pressure |
Lowers blood pressure, Protects against heart disease |
|
Obesity, Diabetes, Osteoporosis |
|
(From http://www.reuniting.info/science/sex_and_addiction)
The time-honored solution to this problem is loving sex without
orgasm. This greatly helps to sustain
oxytocin levels without producing emotionally
disruptive high-low neurochemical cycles of orgasm, and it has been practiced in Indian Tantra, by the
Chinese Taoists, and apparently by early Christians. In modern times it has
been resurrected as Karezza, White Tantra and various forms of spiritual sex.
It heals and holds relationships together rather than driving them apart as
frequent orgasmic sex seems to do although, as we will see later, it is also
possible to have bonding orgasmic sex. For a wealth of articles on the hormonal
aspects of our sexuality see http://www.reuniting.info/science.
SEXUAL RELATIONSHIPS
Presently a large number of marriages ends in divorce,
often already after a very short time. Informal relationships are even more
fragile. While this is a rather recent phenomenon, the underlying reason has
always been there. In previous centuries marriages simply were held together by
social pressure and an inability to get a divorce.
The underlying reasons that drive relationships
apart are rooted in the hormonal characteristics of our sexual relationships.
In evolutionary terms we are conditioned to spread our genes as widely as
possible, and provide a safe environment for raising our offspring. This means
we are programmed to meet, fall in love, mate to conceive a child, and after
some time to meet another lover and repeat this procedure.
Females are attracted
sexually to handsome men, but often choose mates based on resources and
parenting potential, and males try to spread their genes by being strongly attracted to any
(fertile) female with genetically desirable features.
This evolutionary pattern comes to a head after
pregnancy when the woman maintains high prolactin levels during breastfeeding,
and instead of maintaining a loving oxytocin connection with her partner, she
now has switched her oxytocin bonding to the baby. In this situation sex is
hormonally undesirable, and any orgasmic sex leads to further hormonal and
emotional instability.
Therefore, what happens presently in our
society is perfectly normal in evolutionary terms. The main problem is just the
unacceptable amount of emotional distress and social upheaval that it causes.
Other casualties are our health and wellbeing, which are greatly enhanced by
harmonious long-term relationships.
Initially we were bonded together by falling in
love through a generous release of oxytocin and enjoyed the exciting peaks of
dopamine release during our sexual encounters. Gradually the oxytocin glow
faded and we began to fall out of love, and it also became more difficult to
maintain an exciting sex life.
Instead of enjoying dopamine peaks, increasingly we now have to cope with the dopamine lows after our routine sexual encounters. We begin to see all the faults in our partner that were previously covered by high oxytocin levels (from frequent physical contact without unpleasant subconscious associations). As these dopamine lows may last for up to two weeks this causes considerable strain on a relationship.
During this time we tend towards increasing
irritability, nagging, resentment, frustration, blaming each other and similar
negative emotions as an expression of a biological hangover. Depending on our
emotional makeup we may now develop a subconscious desire to separate, and many
couples do just that. Over time couples start losing interest in sex and
withdraw emotionally, or they may try to shift their emotional involvement to
other common interests and in this way may be able to maintain a satisfying
relationship.
Still others try maintaining peak dopamine
experiences by exploring all the different sexual positions, or start swapping
partners, or becoming interested in a new partner. Dopamine peaks can also be
maintained by becoming addicted to something, it does not really matter to
what. This may be legal or illegal drugs, games, racing and betting, chocolate,
or frequently finding a different sexual partner. Apart from causing long-term
stress-related and other health problems, addictions also have a host of
unpleasant side effects on our capacity for intimacy.
Beyond Orgasm
With the present structure of our
society it is obviously an advantage to form stable cooperative sexual
relationships for the benefit of the children and also for the emotional
wellbeing of the parents. As this objective is contrary to our evolutionary
neurochemical conditioning, we need to find ways to outsmart the hormonal
changes that drive us apart.
In hormonal terms we need to
maximize oxytocin production and avoid the dopamine rollercoaster. Apart from
occasional procreating activities, all of this could be done within a loving
platonic relationship. However, there is a biological catch: To maintain a
strong and healthy body we also need to maintain a strong production of sex
hormones. This hormone production is best maintained by sexual feelings. As
with muscle activity, it is best to use it or we may lose it.
This leads us to two remaining
questions: “Can sexual activity without orgasm be satisfying?” and “Is orgasm
needed to stimulate our sexual glands and maintain the health of our sexual
organs?” These questions cannot be confidently answered from theoretical
considerations, but fortunately we have already a wealth of practical
experience in this regard.
KAREZZA
Karezza and the related practice of
White Tantra are one answer to non-orgasmic sex. "White Tantra" was
promoted by Samael Aun Weor in his book The Perfect Matrimony (1950), Thelema Press, also see http://www.gnosticteachings.org/.
These non-orgasmic methods shift the focus of love-making from the sexual
organs to the heart. There have been three basic ideas in the evolution of Karezza:
increasing health and wellbeing, avoiding unwanted pregnancy, and increasing
close bonding and sensual pleasure.
From time to time some health-minded
individuals, generally males, felt from their own experience that
non-ejaculatory sex gave them more energy and improved their health, while at
the same time preventing unwanted pregnancies. Their female partners were
uniformly enthusiastic about the close emotional bonding that it provided.
However, this not necessarily the case at present as many women still prefer
orgasms and men are even more strongly orgasm oriented.
The
One early pioneer was John Noyes
from the
Intercourse without ejaculation was
a cornerstone of the Oneida Community. Young men learned self-control from
post-menopausal women. Noyes also realized some spiritual implications for Male
Continence. In order to create the Kingdom of Heaven on earth we must not only
strive for reconciliation with God, but also bring about a true union of the
sexes. He even suggested that the
frequent unease after ejaculatory intercourse lies at the heart of the
Judeo-Christian association between sex and guilt.
Because of statements from some
medical authorities that non-orgasmic sex is harmful a large number of members
of this community were examined by a medical practitioner and found to be “in
perfect health, happy and in complete harmony.”
Karezza Classics
In 1872, after more than 25 years of
practice John Humphrey Noyes published his experiences and theories in Male Continence. Two
other Karezza Classics are The Karezza Method by
J. William Lloyd (1931), and Karezza: Ethics of Marriage
by Alice Bunker Stockham, MD (1903). All of these are available as free
downloads from www.reuniting.info.
Stockham developed her method mainly to help her patients, and promoted it as producing better health, greater harmony and spiritual attainment.
She believed that
sexual energy may be directed into building bodily tissue and permeating every
cell with health and vigor. For Stockham, Karezza was a form of spiritual
companionship. Partners seek union and mutual soul development rather than
fleeting passionate gratification, but the emphasis is on loving closeness,
rather than denial of pleasure. At the appointed time and after joint
meditation the couple calmly engages in physical contact and expressions of
endearment and affection, followed by the complete, quiet union of the sexual
organs.
Only the book by Dr Lloyd has still some practical value in regard to details
of the technique, while the other two books are mainly of historical interest.
But all of them relate the great health and emotional benefits derived from
this method. By the middle of the twentieth century the practice of Karezza had
greatly declined in the United States, although related non-ejaculatory methods
apparently had gained many followers in India and Egypt.
Peace between the Sheets
Presently Karezza enjoys a revival
in the United States and is also spreading to other countries in large part due
to the efforts of Marnia Robinson and Gary Wilson. They maintain the website www.reuniting.info with a wealth of
practical, scientific and spiritual articles as well as a discussion forum and
a monthly newsletter. The basis for this work is the book Peace between the Sheets – Healing with Sexual Relationships, available
from their website.
Gary
had been a long-time alcohol addict and on prescription antidepressants. Within
a short time of their new sex habits he found it relatively easy to overcome
these problems (although he still had some tough moments), and also Marnia’s
chronic yeast infections and urinary tract infections disappeared. This book,
as well as many website testimonials, shows the many health and relationship
benefits of this non-orgasmic approach to making love, and Marnia also provides
easy to follow instructions and exercises for beginners.
The Method
In Karezza the emphasis is on the
inner feeling awareness as well as on the feeling of complete union with the
partner. Orgasm is avoided or at least minimized. Caresses and slow controlled
movements during intercourse generate a steady stream of sexual energy that is
consciously converted into feelings of sublime joy and love. Typically, this
may continue for an hour or more. It is not necessary for the penis to be erect
or even inside to enjoy this type of lovemaking. Part or all of the time the
tip of the penis may just touch the entrance of the vagina, or the sexual
organs may not touch at all.
Initially concentrate awareness on
the sensations at the point of contact with the partner, in the genital area
and wherever the skin or a caressing hand touches. This generates pleasant
sensations, which can now easily be converted into a loving feeling. Open your
heart and send this love to your partner. In a more active fashion you can in
your imagination lead the energy felt in the genital or pelvic area upwards to
the heart. There you feel it as love and radiate it out onto your partner, and also
envelop both of you in a cloud of love.
For many sensitive individuals this
is more satisfying than just mechanically experimenting with different
positions or chasing an elusive orgasm.
You may also lie quietly connected, just to relax and feel close, cared
for and protected, without attempting to generate any specific effects. If
sleeping together, you may develop a routine of connecting daily before going
to sleep or after awakening, or both. This may be done without moving, just to
feel close to each other, or you may sleep together skin to skin. All this is
not only emotionally satisfying, but produces strong bonding and greatly
strengthens the relationship.
A connection based on love provides
a natural increase in sexual self-control, as explained by William Lloyd: “As
you acquire the habit of giving
your sexual electricity out in blessing to your partner from your sex-organs,
hands, lips, skin, eyes and voice, you will acquire the power to satisfy
yourself and her without an orgasm. Soon you will not even think of
self-control, because you will have no desire for the orgasm, nor will she.”
Lloyd also notes
the ability of Karezza or controlled intercourse to nourish lovers. He reports a sense of “sweet satisfaction, fullness
of realization, peace, often a physical glow and mental glamour that lasts for
days, as if some ethereal stimulant, or rather nutriment, had been received.”
And, “in successful Karezza the sex-organs become quiet, satisfied,
demagnetized, as perfectly as by the orgasm, while the rest of the body of each
partner glows with a wonderful vigour and conscious joy…tending to irradiate
the whole being with romantic love; and always with an after-feeling of health,
purity and wellbeing. We are most happy and good-humoured as after a full
meal.”
BIO-ENERGY AND SEX
Sexuality and the various benefits
resulting from non-orgasmic sex can only be understood in the context of
bio-energy or life-force, also called prana, chi, ki, orgone, or od. We may see
it as the innermost aura around living objects or feel it as heat or tingling
in our body, especially when transferring energy as with 'laying on of hands'
or Reiki, and most strongly during orgasm.
This
energy circulates in our acupuncture meridian system and its vortexes form our
chakra system. It is at the base of paranormal or psychic phenomena, and is
also the healing agent of many natural therapies. While bio-energy is still
unknown to orthodox science (except in astrophysics where it is called dark
energy), it is an everyday experience of many sensitive individuals. Sexual
energy is highest in virgin teenagers, where related electrical activity can
lead to static and interference with electric and electronic equipment.
As
living organisms we are a dynamic bio-energy system. Our health and energy rely
on a strong flow of bio-energy into the chakra system. From there the energy
flows through the acupuncture system into all the organs and tissues, and any
surplus flows out to form the etheric aura around the body.
The
sex chakra is our strongest bio-energy generator. In addition to providing a
moderate stream of energy into the base chakra and then up the spine into
the brain, it also keeps the production of our sex hormones going. If this
energy generator becomes weak, then we lack vitality and may be close to a
disease or to old age.
The
problem now is this: if we let this energy generator deteriorate through poor
nutrition or by blocking the flow of sexual energy, then our overall energy
level deteriorates. If, on the other hand, we frequently use it with orgasmic
sex, then we lose an inappropriate amount of bio-energy, again resulting in a
low energy level, in addition to the negative effects of strong hormone
fluctuations.
The
logical solution is sufficient use or stimulation of our sexual energy but
without discharging it and without creating an energy blockage. Ideally we
produce a high amount of sexual energy and then channel it into the chakra and
acupuncture system to keep us young and healthy. This model lets us understand
the frequent claims of practitioners of Tao and Karezza methods of love-making
as to the amazing health and rejuvenating effects that have been experienced.
Sex Perfection
Rudolf von Urban, a psychiatrist and
psychologist, was originally associated with Sigmund Freud but, like Wilhelm
Reich, later immigrated to the
Knowing that his colleagues would
not take kindly to facts that contradict their theories, he waited for 30 years
before publishing his discoveries. In addition to Karezza he also related the
following observations which we need to consider when formulating a theory of
sexual energy.
The Arabian Couple: The first account is of a former patient, a medical doctor, and his
young Arabian bride. After caressing naked for about an hour without sexual
contact in a dark room, he saw the body of his wife surrounded by a
greenish-blue hazy light. Moving his palm close to her breast a visible and
audible electric spark jumped from the breast to the palm, causing some pain.
Von Reichenbach, a distinguished scientist, had previously described similar
phenomena without being taken seriously by mainstream scientists.
Following von Urban’s suggestions
the couple made a series of experiments with the following results: when they
caressed for an hour and then had orgasmic intercourse lasting for less than 27
minutes, sparks still moved between them. However, if intercourse after
caressing lasted 27 minutes or longer, no more sparks would fly. Furthermore,
if they started intercourse immediately without caressing, the woman would not
emit a visible radiation, and no sparks would develop regardless of the length
of the intercourse.
In
addition, caressing followed by orgasmic intercourse lasting less than 27
minutes induced in both a strong desire to have more sex. But if they acted on
this with another brief intercourse, they both developed health problems
afterwards, such as headaches, asthma and heart-palpitations. Also after
caressing and intercourse of short duration the sparks between them became
stronger. Urban interpreted these events as showing that a short intercourse
eliminated the tension in the sexual organs but increased tension in the rest
of their bodies.
The
sparks also were stronger a day before the start of her menstrual period, again
indicating increased body tension. Von Urban wrote that intercourse for
periods of less than 27 minutes increased the distance at which the sparks
would jump to more than one inch, indicating that the tension in their bodies
became stronger with each (orgasmic) intercourse of short duration.
These sparks, which may only be observed in individuals with
strong sexual energy, show that the skin is highly charged with bio-energy. This
is pleasurable and desirable as part of sexual foreplay but then it needs to be
discharged as part of a prolonged sexual union. If, instead, the skin
remains charged up because the following union is too short, then the
individual becomes tense and may in time develop stress-related symptoms and
diseases.
So, to
summarize, orgasmic intercourse for half an hour or more, with or without
initial caressing, did not produce any sparks and therefore appears to
eliminate all tension. Intercourse for half an hour or more was followed by a
pleasant relaxation of the whole body with increased love and happiness of the
couple and no desire for another sexual connection for 5 or more days. If the
intercourse lasted for an hour this contentment lasted for one week, and after
a 2-hour intercourse it lasted for two weeks. This was true even when there was
an early ejaculation but they remained sexually connected with a non-erect
penis. Later von Urban found these observations confirmed by reports of other
couples.
South Sea Islanders: Von Urban also
describes the sexual practices of some Melanesian societies as confirming the
experiences of the Arabian couple. Foreplay with kissing and caressing takes at
least half an hour, but a man never touches the clitoris. Then they connect
with their sexual organs and lie motionless together for at least another half
hour before starting movements, and after orgasm they remain sexually connected
for a long time. On nights when they did not have sex they slept skin to skin
but without any kissing or caressing. They had intercourse not more than about
every five days, and sexual problems seemed to be unknown in these societies.
They made fun of what they regarded as the immature sexual practices of
Westerners.
The Neurotic Woman: A beautiful young woman was terrified of men, but after falling in love
with a medical assistant of von Urban eventually agreed to marry him on the
condition that he would not try to have sex with her. After six weeks, they
finally spend their first night together, naked but without any sexual contact.
After about half an hour of lying together both experienced an indescribable
delight and rapture that lasted the whole night.
However, after 7 hours they had to
separate or they would get a feeling of suffocation unless they had a shower,
and then they could continue lying blissfully together. During the day they
felt exceptionally happy, relaxed and energetic. For 14 years they practiced
this celestial type of love-making until they tried conventional sex and lost
it. As with the Arabian couple, their experiences were enhanced by having a
shower before lying together.
Von Urban’s Six Rules of Perfect Sex
Preparation: A
day chosen for making love should be filled with mutual kindness and affection.
A period of love play with kissing and caressing should precede the sex act.
Clitoral stimulation should be avoided. Woman who are used to clitoral orgasms
should gradually, within a few weeks or months, be helped to refocus on vaginal
stimulation.
Comment:
Von Urban believed that clitoral stimulation increases tension and makes
deep relaxation of the whole body more difficult, and if one is used to
clitoral stimulation it also may make it more difficult to achieve deep vaginal
orgasm. The main goal for von Urban was not creating strong excitement and
coming quickly to an orgasm but rather having a loving and strongly bonding
connection with a partner. This does not mean that everyone needs to do it this
way, von Urban just believed that it gave the best long-term results in regard
to health and relationships.
Position:
The partners should adopt a position that allows them to remain fully relaxed
during a long intercourse. Preferred is the Scissor Position: the woman lies on
her back with knees drawn to the chest, while the male lies on his left side
crosswise to her, so that his penis touches the entrance of the vagina. She now
drops her legs and he places his right leg between
her legs. With this, her left leg is between his legs while her right calf
rests on his torso. Sides may be reversed.
The man places the tip of the penis
at the opened entrance of the vagina. Now all kissing and caressing should
cease and both lovers focus on the energy streams between their sexual organs.
It does not matter if the penis is soft or erect. After half an hour and full
exchange of sexual energy the penis usually becomes erect and may now enter
provided that the vagina is naturally moist. The use of oil is discouraged as
it slows the exchange of energy (but this should not be a problem with long
connections), and condoms must be avoided (except possibly temporarily for the
purpose of ejaculation) because they block the exchange of bio-energy and lead
to increased body tension. These recommendations are for couples in long-term
relationships, for casual encounters use safe sex practices.
Duration: After
the man has learned to control his ejaculation, the 30 minutes outside the
vagina are no longer required. For a long connection of one to three hours the
couple remains mainly motionless or with slow movements. If ejaculation occurs
prematurely, the soft penis should remain inside until at least half an hour
since entering. If unwanted pregnancy needs to be avoided then withdraw shortly
for ejaculation, urination and washing, and then connect again the penis to the
inner lips.
Concentration: During the whole sex act from preparation to finish the couple should
focus on each other and what they are doing, become aware of the sensations
where they are touching and the energy flows within and between them.
Relaxation: It
is essential to relax not only physically by choosing a suitable position, but
also mentally and emotionally. Any kind of worry, guilt or preoccupation with
work or family problems prevents relaxation and full exchange of bio-energy.
Try to overcome such problems by dealing with them at other times, and use
relaxation exercises and meditation to switch off when you want to. Another
problem is that a woman may suppress her sex drive because of previous abuse or
disappointment, and may resist subconsciously. This can usually be overcome
with much tenderness, love and patience of her partner.
Frequency: While
this may depend mainly on the desire
of the partners, von Urban observed that generally after a
30 minute intercourse with proper preparation couples are happy with a five day
interval, after one hour intercourse with one-week, and after two hours with
two-week intervals. He regards a sufficient interval as important to fully
recharge the body batteries with bio-energy.
Comment
Von Urban’s observations seem to
show that the undesirable effects of conventional orgasmic sex may be mainly
due to unreleased body tensions rather than hormonal changes per se, although
hormonal changes may be a result of bio-energetic changes. The increased
contentment and happiness after von Urban’s Perfect Sex appears to be the same
as after Karezza, and would be due to the combination of persistently raised
oxytocin levels and increased relaxation.
The rest period of five days to two
weeks between orgasmic events may mean that prolactin rises and testosterone
receptor levels fall as after conventional orgasm, but that the duration of the
changes depends on the degree to which the body tensions have been neutralized.
If there is a prolonged reduction or fluctuation of dopamine levels as after
conventional sex, it may be offset by increased oxytocin so that overall there
is no negative emotional effect. My personal view is that high oxytocin levels
will probably stabilize dopamine levels.
It is not clear if after Karezza
there is a 5 to 14 day period of decreased desire for sexual union as after
Perfect Sex. Some authors, such as Stockham seem to say so and advocate a
waiting period of two weeks or longer between Karezza encounters, while some
modern couples may connect daily but often just lie peacefully together or in a
meditative state or just snuggle up for comfort. Any period of decreased desire
may be much less pronounced with Karezza and mainly due to contentment of being
in a bio-energetic equilibrium rather than to an unfavorable hormonal effect.
I suggest that for full
heart-centered Karezza sessions a rest period of several days may be
appropriate similar as for Perfect Sex to fully charge our sexual batteries,
but that for meditation or comfort short daily connections are also fine. For
more details on Perfect Sex see http://www.health-science-spirit.com/Sexuality.html.
SEX AND HEALTH
According to psychological studies
and statistics in the longer term the vast majority of sexual relationships
cause more distress and unhappiness rather than happiness. It is obvious, at
least to me, that stress due to failing relationships also has a major impact
on our health, emotionally and biologically. Even medical thinking now regards
stress as an underlying problem that aggravates all other diseases.
Sexual factors that may contribute
to health problems are nutrient deficiencies, hormonal and bio-energetic
imbalances, and emotional distress. Several of these may be involved in any one
case, and they cannot always be identified.
Nutrient deficiencies relate mainly to loss of ejaculate. The
seminal fluid is high in zinc and requires much vitamin B6 and omega-3 fatty
acids, which are found in fish oils and linseed oil. Deficiency of these is
widespread, especially in teenage boys with frequent loss of seminal fluid. The
same deficiencies are common in schizophrenia, which starts most frequently in
teenage boys. I believe that there is a causal connection.
Formerly
doctors maintained that excessive masturbation could lead to insanity. They may
have been right after all although, without proper investigation, modern
medicine dismisses this as a myth. Zinc deficiency also leads to underdeveloped
male sexual organs and later in life to enlargement of the prostate gland. By
pointing out these connections I do not want to create guilt about masturbation
but rather improve nutritional awareness. Also orgasm and schizophrenia are
both associated with high and unstable levels of dopamine, while during
depression dopamine levels are low.
A
medical arthritis specialist observed that arthritis tends to get worse with
frequent ejaculation (Arthritis can be
Cured by Bernard Aschner, MD, Arco Publ. N.Y.).
Hormonal
imbalances, especially dopamine excess or deficiency seem to be the greatest
contributors to addictive behaviours, such as drug abuse, compulsive behavior
and gambling as well as aggression, violence and attention deficit disorder.
Oxytocin, on the other hand, has a beneficial influence on these problems. For
a referenced discussion of this subject see http://www.reuniting.info/science/sex_and_addiction.
The
main factor in raising our stress levels is probably the inability to discharge
bio-energetic static. One common example is watching exciting movies that fire
us up, and then going to bed without releasing the induced tension. It is
likewise with conventional sex. Initially the body may get charged with skin
stimulation and anticipation, but then there is little release, especially for
women, if the union lasts for less than 30 minutes. No wonder many women
develop gynaecological problems, nervous complaints or hysteria (from hystera – the womb), or just switch off
and abstain from sex.
Von
Urban’s solution to relieve single or otherwise frustrated women of sexual and
bio-energetic tension is a warm douche at bedtime on alternate nights. The
duration is from ten to twenty minutes while lying in a bathtub. The water is
supplied by fitting some rubber tubing over the tap. This is very relaxing and
not meant to induce an orgasm, but will help to provide a peaceful sleep.
All
diseases and health problems of the sexual organs are likely to be linked to
unhealthy sex practices. This includes not only cancers and infections of the
sexual organs but also in other parts of the body. Even tumor growth and
metastasis are stimulated by stress hormones. Oxytocin counteracts the effects
of stress hormones, and less stress means increased immunity and faster
recovery. Oxytocin receptors have also been discovered in
tumors. Therefore, oxytoxin has a growth inhibiting effect on cancer,
especially prostate and breast cancer - the more oxytocin the less tumor growth
can be expected.
In the following are
some of the statements for which you can find scientific references at http://www.reuniting.info/science/research:
· frequent hugs between
partners associated with lower blood pressure and more oxytocin
· touch and psychological
support are health-promoting due to increased oxytocin
· oxytocin strongly protects
organs from damage due to blood infection
· kissing may have positive implications for allergic
patients
· oxytocin speeds wound healing and reduces pain
· oxytocin counters
addiction and soothes withdrawal symptoms
· massage aids
detoxification for alcohol, oxytocin rises during massage
· oxytocin reduces anxiety and stress
· less oxytocin results in
more aggression and less caring
· oxytocin regulates cell
proliferation and inhibits breast and prostate cancer
· oxytocin increases the
receptivity of females
· oxytocin imbalance may
underlie impotence and alleviate erectile dysfunction
· patients with autism and psychiatric disorders improve with
oxytocin
· oxytocin involved in learning and memory
At
the same site is an equally impressive collection of research references
showing the health disadvantages of orgasmic sex.
Hypertension
and Stress
As
an example of the benefits of healthy sex von Urban mentions the following
case. At a neuro-psychiatric conference he presented a difficult case cured
with his Perfect Sex method within 8 weeks of high blood pressure, stomach
ulcers and inability to work. A leading expert doubted that a change in sexual
practices could have normalized high blood pressure. Von Urban asked this
expert to send him his most difficult and hopeless case. Ten days after seeing
the patient his blood pressure was almost normal.
It
should be noted that in contrast Wilhelm Reich, who advocated orgasmic sex for
release of excess bio-energy, died of heart attack probably associated with
high blood pressure, and his wife suffered from severe hypertension.
Von
Urban also presents the case of a young woman who had been diagnosed as
schizophrenic, temporarily institutionalized and treated with electric shock. A
few weeks after changing sexual habits she became and remained completely
‘normal’.
Considering
the vast amount of hypertension, mental and other stress-related conditions in
our society, and that von Urban demonstrated the effectiveness of his method
only 60 years ago, I do not expect to see it discussed in medical journals or
the mass-media any time soon.
I
do not want to imply that sexual energy is the only factor causing or curing
the discussed diseases, rather there are usually several factors coming
together, and if one of them is changed from being detrimental to being
beneficial, then this can be sufficient to overcome the health problem.
Furthermore,
most of those with a chronic disease, and especially cancer, are emotionally
rather fragile, and benefit greatly from a close-bonding loving relationship to
elevate oxytocin. This is also beneficial with heart disease and
mental-emotional conditions, such as depression and addictions.
High levels of testosterone are a
negative factor with prostate cancer, and high estrogen levels with most breast
cancers. But when we are in love (or create a feeling of love with increased oxytocin),
levels of sex hormone in both genders become more like each other. Males become
less aggressive, gentler and more spiritual, while females produce more
testosterone to make them bolder and balance excessive estrogen levels.