HEALING WITH SEXUAL ENERGY
Sex for Health, Relationships and Spirituality
By Walter Last
Sex, or rather sexual energy, is a potent force in
regard to our health, intimate relationships and spirituality, but the extent
of this is rarely realized. Fortunately we can now understand much of the
prevailing dynamics due to recent advances in the neurochemistry of the brain.
The observed effects can partly be explained with biochemistry and partly with
bioenergetics.
THE
NEUROCHEMISTRY OF SEX
Orgasm is generally regarded as the ultimate goal of
recreational sex. Wilhelm Reich was the first scientist to describe the nature
and purpose of the orgasm as a discharge of excess bio-energy with the
additional liberation of feeling energy, and he also recognized the negative
consequences of blocked sexual energies.
Unfortunately, in addition to exciting peaks, orgasms
tend to produce powerful negative side-effects that are only now becoming
better understood. This is due to predictable trends in hormonal activity which
seem to be similar in all mammals to ensure certain evolutionary objectives,
especially the wide mixing of gene pools and the safe raising of offspring.
This is achieved with the following neurochemical changes.
The main players
are dopamine, the reward hormone; prolactin, the hormone of satiation;
oxytocin, the cuddle hormone, and levels of androgen receptors, which all
powerfully affect our mood, our desire for intimacy, our perception of our
mate, as well as our susceptibility to addictive activities and substances.
These hormones can also have different but generally related functions.
Additionally the stimulant
phenylethylamine (PEA) is involved, which is also present in cocoa and
chocolate and elevates energy, mood and attention. PEA is produced in greater
amounts when one is in love; conversely a deficiency (common in
manic-depressives) causes unhappy feelings.
When we first fall in love we
become bonded by rising PEA, oxytocin and dopamine levels When we are sexually
aroused by close contact our dopamine level rises further and at the time of
orgasm we have a dopamine brainstorm which one researcher compared to the
effects of heroin on the brain. Dopamine is active in all addictions, even in
people who have forgotten what sex is. Most of this activity is in the limbic
system, the oldest part of the brain.
Excess
|
Deficient
|
"Normal"
|
Addictions
|
Addictions
|
Motivated
|
Anxiety
|
Depression
|
Feelings of well-being,
satisfaction
|
Compulsions
|
Anhedonia - no pleasure, world
looks colorless
|
Pleasure, reward in
accomplishing tasks
|
Sexual fetishes
|
Lack of ambition
and drive
|
Healthy libido
|
Sexual addiction
|
Inability to
"love”
|
Good feelings
toward others
|
|
Unhealthy risk-taking |
Low libido
|
Healthy bonding
|
Gambling
|
Erectile
dysfunction
|
Healthy risk taking
|
Compulsive
activities
|
No remorse about personal
behavior
|
Sound choices
|
Aggression
|
ADD/ADHD
|
Realistic
expectations
|
Psychosis
|
Social anxiety
disorder
|
Maternal/Paternal
love
|
|
Schizophrenia |
Antisocial behavior
|
|
(From http://www.reuniting.info/science/sex_and_addiction)
After orgasm dopamine levels
fall sharply with the usual withdrawal symptoms. This reaction tends to be
immediate in males and delayed in females. Also prolactin levels rise, and
androgen receptors fall after orgasm. Low
testosterone is associated with irritability and anger. In sexually-satiated
rats it has been shown that serotonin and endorphin levels also rise, and this
also decreases dopamine and raises prolactin levels. Oxytocin levels
fall after conventional orgasm but remaining in close contact may help to
counter this drop and sustain oxytocin levels.
Behavioral
changes from this disturbed hormone equilibrium have been noticed for up to two weeks. During this time we may be more
irritable, dissatisfied, anxious or depressed, and instead of seeing the good
side of our mate, we are now painfully aware of his or her shortcomings. This
is exactly the same process and length of time prolactin levels need to recover
during withdrawal from cocaine.
Symptoms
associated with excess Prolactin
|
Women |
Men |
|
Loss of libido |
Loss of libido |
|
Mood changes / depression |
Mood changes / depression |
|
Hostility, anxiety |
Impotence |
|
Headache |
Headache |
|
Menopausal symptoms, |
Infertility |
|
Signs of increased testosterone levels |
Decreased testosterone levels |
|
Weight gain |
Weight gain |
|
Intercourse may become painful because of vaginal dryness |
|
(From http://www.reuniting.info/science/sex_and_addiction)
Initially,
during the honeymoon period of our relationship, we remain strongly bonded by
high oxytocin levels, and quickly overcome our hormonal blues by having more
sex. Initially sex stimulates us to crave for more sex. This leads to rapid
rises and falls in dopamine levels and corresponding rapid emotional
fluctuations in our relationship. Later we become less and less interested in
sex with our partner (perhaps because we subconsciously begin to associate
him or her with the “lows” of the cycle, or perhaps because we grow tired of
being used as a fix, and therefore feel less attraction), and now we try to prop up our dopamine level by becoming addicted to
some kind of food or drug, or by becoming interested in a new sexual partner.
Basically this type of behavior is the same for humans, primates, mammals and
reptiles because it originates from the primitive part of our brain.
Further evidence of a lasting post-orgasm
hangover comes from sexually exhausted male rats. The number of androgen
receptors in the hypothalamus declines, reducing the effectiveness of
testosterone and changing sexual behavior. These changes last for about seven
days, corresponding to a lack of libido of the rats.
In addition to serving as a sexual brake, prolactin
also affects our moods and behavior somewhat like a hormone of resignation. For
example caged wild monkeys initially had high levels of the stress hormone
cortisol but gradually prolactin levels rose as they became resigned to their
fate. Prolactin levels were highest after seven months. With raised prolactin
levels they do not mate, which looks like the same effect that we see in
long-term relationships without close oxytocin-producing bonding.
The Coolidge-Effect
In experiments with
rats it has been observed that after vigorous copulation with a new partner,
male rats soon completely ignore this partner, but when a new female is
introduced, they immediately are revitalized - at least sufficiently to become
sexually active once more. This can be repeated again and again until the male
rat is completely exhausted.
This phenomenon has
been called the “Coolidge Effect” after an American president. On a visit to a
farm his wife had been shown a rooster who could copulate with his hens all
day-long day after day. She liked that idea and asked the farmer to let the
president know about this. After hearing it, President Coolidge thought for a
moment and asked: ”Does he do that with the same hen?” “No, sir” answered the farmer. “Please tell
that to Mrs. Coolidge” said the president (http://www.reuniting.info/science/coolidge_effect).
Not only has the Coolidge effect been observed in all
tested male animals, but also in females. Female rodents for instance flirt
more and present themselves more attractively when observed by new males than
in the presence of males with whom they had already sex.
Another experiment indicates that the cause of this
effect may be a rush of dopamine. When rats were taught to pull a lever to
stimulate their own reward center, they would forgo eating and copulating, and
just continue to stimulate themselves until they were totally exhausted.
The Cuddle Hormone
The
dopamine system is obviously designed to produce genetic variety by inducing us
to mate with as many different partners as possible. There is, however, a
hormone that counteracts the emotional rollercoaster effects of dopamine, and
that is oxytocin, the cuddle-hormone. Oxytocin also counteracts fear, which is
associated with high cortisol levels and stress, see chart below.
Oxytocin
leads to strong pair-bonding. In pair-bonded animals mating, and with this the
dopamine rollercoaster, stops with the rise of prolactin after successful
fertilization, and now oxytocin ensures that both parents cooperate for the
survival of their offspring. Humans could do the same, mate only to produce
offspring and then abstain from sex. This might produce an emotionally stable
relationship for life, but most of us would also find it utterly boring. Paramahansa
Yogananda wrote this is exactly what his parents did (Autobiography of a Yogi).
The Benefits of Oxytocin
|
Fear - Cortisol |
Love - Oxytocin |
|
Aggression |
Anti-stress hormone |
|
Arousal, Anxiety, Feeling stressed-out |
Feeling calm and connected, Increased curiosity |
|
Activates addictions |
Lessens cravings & addictions |
|
Suppresses libido |
Increases sexual receptivity |
|
Associated with depression |
Positive feelings |
|
Can be toxic to brain cells |
Facilitates learning |
|
Breaks down muscles, bones and joints |
Repairs, heals and restores |
|
Weakens immune system |
Faster wound healing |
|
Increases pain |
Diminishes sense of pain |
|
Clogs arteries, Promotes heart disease and high blood pressure |
Lowers blood pressure, Protects against heart disease |
|
Obesity, Diabetes, Osteoporosis |
|
(From http://www.reuniting.info/science/sex_and_addiction)
The
time-honored solution to this problem is loving sex without orgasm. This
greatly helps
to sustain oxytocin levels without producing
emotionally disruptive high-low neurochemical cycles of orgasm, and it has been practiced in Indian Tantra, by the
Chinese Taoists, and apparently by early Christians. In modern times it has
been resurrected as Karezza, White Tantra and various forms of spiritual sex.
It heals and holds relationships together rather than driving them apart as
frequent orgasmic sex seems to do although, as we will see later, it is also
possible to have bonding orgasmic sex. For a wealth of articles on the hormonal
aspects of our sexuality see http://www.reuniting.info/science.
SEXUAL RELATIONSHIPS
Presently a large number of marriages ends in divorce,
often already after a very short time. Informal relationships are even more fragile.
While this is a rather recent phenomenon, the underlying reason has always been
there. In previous centuries marriages simply were held together by social
pressure and an inability to get a divorce.
The underlying reasons that drive relationships apart
are rooted in the hormonal characteristics of our sexual relationships. In
evolutionary terms we are conditioned to spread our genes as widely as
possible, and provide a safe environment for raising our offspring. This means
we are programmed to meet, fall in love, mate to conceive a child, and after
some time to meet another lover and repeat this procedure.
Females are attracted sexually
to handsome men, but often choose mates based on resources and parenting
potential, and males try to spread their
genes by being strongly attracted to any (fertile) female with genetically
desirable features.
This evolutionary pattern comes to a head after
pregnancy when the woman maintains high prolactin levels during breastfeeding,
and instead of maintaining a loving oxytocin connection with her partner, she
now has switched her oxytocin bonding to the baby. In this situation sex is
hormonally undesirable, and any orgasmic sex leads to further hormonal and
emotional instability.
Therefore, what happens presently in our society is
perfectly normal in evolutionary terms. The main problem is just the
unacceptable amount of emotional distress and social upheaval that it causes.
Other casualties are our health and wellbeing, which are greatly enhanced by
harmonious long-term relationships.
Initially we were bonded together by falling in love
through a generous release of oxytocin and enjoyed the exciting peaks of
dopamine release during our sexual encounters. Gradually the oxytocin glow
faded and we began to fall out of love, and it also became more difficult to
maintain an exciting sex life.
Instead
of enjoying dopamine peaks, increasingly we now have to cope with the dopamine
lows after our routine sexual encounters. We begin to see all the faults in our
partner that were previously covered by high oxytocin levels (from frequent
physical contact without unpleasant subconscious associations). As these dopamine lows may last for up to two weeks
this causes considerable strain on a relationship.
During this time we tend towards increasing
irritability, nagging, resentment, frustration, blaming each other and similar
negative emotions as an expression of a biological hangover. Depending on our
emotional makeup we may now develop a subconscious desire to separate, and many
couples do just that. Over time couples start losing interest in sex and
withdraw emotionally, or they may try to shift their emotional involvement to
other common interests and in this way may be able to maintain a satisfying
relationship.
Still others try maintaining peak dopamine experiences
by exploring all the different sexual positions, or start swapping partners, or
becoming interested in a new partner. Dopamine peaks can also be maintained by
becoming addicted to something, it does not really matter to what. This may be
legal or illegal drugs, games, racing and betting, chocolate, or frequently
finding a different sexual partner. Apart from causing long-term stress-related
and other health problems, addictions also have a host of unpleasant side effects
on our capacity for intimacy.
Beyond
Orgasm
With the present structure of our society it is
obviously an advantage to form stable cooperative sexual relationships for the
benefit of the children and also for the emotional wellbeing of the parents. As
this objective is contrary to our evolutionary neurochemical conditioning, we
need to find ways to outsmart the hormonal changes that drive us apart.
In hormonal terms we need to maximize oxytocin
production and avoid the dopamine rollercoaster. Apart from occasional
procreating activities, all of this could be done within a loving platonic
relationship. However, there is a biological catch: To maintain a strong and
healthy body we also need to maintain a strong production of sex hormones. This
hormone production is best maintained by sexual feelings. As with muscle
activity, it is best to use it or we may lose it.
This leads us to two remaining questions: “Can sexual
activity without orgasm be satisfying?” and “Is orgasm needed to stimulate our
sexual glands and maintain the health of our sexual organs?” These questions
cannot be confidently answered from theoretical considerations, but fortunately
we have already a wealth of practical experience in this regard.
KAREZZA
Karezza and the related practice of White Tantra are
one answer to non-orgasmic sex. "White Tantra" was promoted by Samael
Aun Weor in his book The
Perfect Matrimony (1950), Thelema Press, also see http://www.gnosticteachings.org/. These
non-orgasmic methods shift the focus of love-making from the sexual organs to
the heart. There have been three basic ideas in the evolution of Karezza:
increasing health and wellbeing, avoiding unwanted pregnancy, and increasing
close bonding and sensual pleasure.
From time to time some health-minded individuals,
generally males, felt from their own experience that non-ejaculatory sex gave
them more energy and improved their health, while at the same time preventing
unwanted pregnancies. Their female partners were uniformly enthusiastic about
the close emotional bonding that it provided. However, this not necessarily the
case at present as many women still prefer orgasms and men are even more
strongly orgasm oriented.
The
One early pioneer was John Noyes from the
Intercourse without ejaculation was a cornerstone of
the Oneida Community. Young men learned self-control from post-menopausal
women. Noyes also realized some spiritual implications for Male Continence. In
order to create the Kingdom of Heaven on earth we must not only strive for
reconciliation with God, but also bring about a true union of the sexes. He even suggested that the frequent unease
after ejaculatory intercourse lies at the heart of the Judeo-Christian
association between sex and guilt.
Because of statements from some medical authorities
that non-orgasmic sex is harmful a large number of members of this community
were examined by a medical practitioner and found to be “in perfect health,
happy and in complete harmony.”
Karezza
Classics
In 1872, after more than 25 years of practice John
Humphrey Noyes published his experiences and theories in Male Continence. Two
other Karezza Classics are The Karezza Method by
J. William Lloyd (1931), and Karezza: Ethics of Marriage
by Alice Bunker Stockham, MD (1903). All of these are available as free
downloads from www.reuniting.info.
Stockham developed her method mainly to help her patients, and promoted it as producing better health, greater harmony and spiritual attainment.
She believed that sexual energy may be directed into
building bodily tissue and permeating every cell with health and vigor. For
Stockham, Karezza was a form of spiritual companionship. Partners seek union
and mutual soul development rather than fleeting passionate gratification, but
the emphasis is on loving closeness, rather than denial of pleasure. At the
appointed time and after joint meditation the couple calmly engages in physical
contact and expressions of endearment and affection, followed by the complete,
quiet union of the sexual organs.
Only the book by Dr Lloyd
has still some practical value in regard to details of the technique, while the
other two books are mainly of historical interest. But all of them relate the
great health and emotional benefits derived from this method. By the middle of
the twentieth century the practice of Karezza had greatly declined in the
United States, although related non-ejaculatory methods apparently had gained
many followers in India and Egypt.
Peace between
the Sheets
Presently Karezza enjoys a revival in the United
States and is also spreading to other countries in large part due to the
efforts of Marnia Robinson and Gary Wilson. They maintain the website www.reuniting.info with a wealth of
practical, scientific and spiritual articles as well as a discussion forum and
a monthly newsletter. The basis for this work is the book Peace between the Sheets – Healing with Sexual Relationships, available
from their website.
Gary had been a
long-time alcohol addict and on prescription antidepressants. Within a short
time of their new sex habits he found it relatively easy to overcome these
problems (although he still had some tough moments), and also Marnia’s chronic
yeast infections and urinary tract infections disappeared. This book, as well
as many website testimonials, shows the many health and relationship benefits
of this non-orgasmic approach to making love, and Marnia also provides easy to
follow instructions and exercises for beginners.
The Method
In Karezza the emphasis is on the inner feeling
awareness as well as on the feeling of complete union with the partner. Orgasm
is avoided or at least minimized. Caresses and slow controlled movements during
intercourse generate a steady stream of sexual energy that is consciously
converted into feelings of sublime joy and love. Typically, this may continue
for an hour or more. It is not necessary for the penis to be erect or even
inside to enjoy this type of lovemaking. Part or all of the time the tip of the
penis may just touch the entrance of the vagina, or the sexual organs may not
touch at all.
Initially concentrate awareness on the sensations at
the point of contact with the partner, in the genital area and wherever the
skin or a caressing hand touches. This generates pleasant sensations, which can
now easily be converted into a loving feeling. Open your heart and send this
love to your partner. In a more active fashion you can in your imagination lead
the energy felt in the genital or pelvic area upwards to the heart. There you
feel it as love and radiate it out onto your partner, and also envelop both of
you in a cloud of love.
For many sensitive individuals this is more satisfying
than just mechanically experimenting with different positions or chasing an
elusive orgasm. You may also lie quietly
connected, just to relax and feel close, cared for and protected, without
attempting to generate any specific effects. If sleeping together, you may
develop a routine of connecting daily before going to sleep or after awakening,
or both. This may be done without moving, just to feel close to each other, or
you may sleep together skin to skin. All this is not only emotionally satisfying,
but produces strong bonding and greatly strengthens the relationship.
A connection based on love provides a natural increase
in sexual self-control, as explained by William Lloyd: “As you acquire the
habit of giving your
sexual electricity out in blessing to your partner from your sex-organs, hands,
lips, skin, eyes and voice, you will acquire the power to satisfy yourself and
her without an orgasm. Soon you will not even think of self-control, because
you will have no desire for the orgasm, nor will she.”
Lloyd
also notes the ability of Karezza or controlled intercourse to nourish lovers. He reports
a sense of “sweet satisfaction, fullness of realization, peace, often a
physical glow and mental glamour that lasts for days, as if some ethereal
stimulant, or rather nutriment, had been received.” And, “in successful Karezza
the sex-organs become quiet, satisfied, demagnetized, as perfectly as by the
orgasm, while the rest of the body of each partner glows with a wonderful
vigour and conscious joy…tending to irradiate the whole being with romantic
love; and always with an after-feeling of health, purity and wellbeing. We are
most happy and good-humoured as after a full meal.”
BIO-ENERGY AND
SEX
Sexuality and the various benefits resulting from
non-orgasmic sex can only be understood in the context of bio-energy or
life-force, also called prana, chi, ki, orgone, or od. We may see it as the
innermost aura around living objects or feel it as heat or tingling in our
body, especially when transferring energy as with 'laying on of hands' or
Reiki, and most strongly during orgasm.
This energy
circulates in our acupuncture meridian system and its vortexes form our chakra
system. It is at the base of paranormal or psychic phenomena, and is also the
healing agent of many natural therapies. While bio-energy is still unknown to
orthodox science (except in astrophysics where it is called dark energy), it is
an everyday experience of many sensitive individuals. Sexual energy is highest in
virgin teenagers, where related electrical activity can lead to static and
interference with electric and electronic equipment.
As living organisms
we are a dynamic bio-energy system. Our health and energy rely on a strong flow
of bio-energy into the chakra system. From there the energy flows through the
acupuncture system into all the organs and tissues, and any surplus flows out
to form the etheric aura around the body.
The sex chakra is
our strongest bio-energy generator. In addition to providing a moderate stream
of energy into the base chakra and then up the spine into the brain, it
also keeps the production of our sex hormones going. If this energy generator
becomes weak, then we lack vitality and may be close to a disease or to old
age.
The problem now is
this: if we let this energy generator deteriorate through poor nutrition or by
blocking the flow of sexual energy, then our overall energy level deteriorates.
If, on the other hand, we frequently use it with orgasmic sex, then we lose an
inappropriate amount of bio-energy, again resulting in a low energy level, in
addition to the negative effects of strong hormone fluctuations.
The logical
solution is sufficient use or stimulation of our sexual energy but without
discharging it and without creating an energy blockage. Ideally we produce a
high amount of sexual energy and then channel it into the chakra and
acupuncture system to keep us young and healthy. This model lets us understand
the frequent claims of practitioners of Tao and Karezza methods of love-making
as to the amazing health and rejuvenating effects that have been experienced.
Sex Perfection
Rudolf von Urban, a psychiatrist and psychologist, was
originally associated with Sigmund Freud but, like Wilhelm Reich, later
immigrated to the
Knowing that his colleagues would not take kindly to
facts that contradict their theories, he waited for 30 years before publishing
his discoveries. In addition to Karezza he also related the following
observations which we need to consider when formulating a theory of sexual
energy.
The Arabian
Couple: The first account is of a former patient, a medical
doctor, and his young Arabian bride. After caressing naked for about an hour
without sexual contact in a dark room, he saw the body of his wife surrounded
by a greenish-blue hazy light. Moving his palm close to her breast a visible
and audible electric spark jumped from the breast to the palm, causing some
pain. Von Reichenbach, a distinguished scientist, had previously described
similar phenomena without being taken seriously by mainstream scientists.
Following von Urban’s suggestions the couple made a
series of experiments with the following results: when they caressed for an
hour and then had orgasmic intercourse lasting for less than 27 minutes, sparks
still moved between them. However, if intercourse after caressing lasted 27
minutes or longer, no more sparks would fly. Furthermore, if they started
intercourse immediately without caressing, the woman would not emit a visible
radiation, and no sparks would develop regardless of the length of the
intercourse.
In addition, caressing followed
by orgasmic intercourse lasting less than 27 minutes induced in both a strong
desire to have more sex. But if they acted on this with another brief
intercourse, they both developed health problems afterwards, such as headaches,
asthma and heart-palpitations. Also after caressing and intercourse of short
duration the sparks between them became stronger. Urban interpreted these
events as showing that a short intercourse eliminated the tension in the sexual
organs but increased tension in the rest of their bodies.
The sparks also were stronger a
day before the start of her menstrual period, again indicating increased body
tension. Von Urban wrote that intercourse for periods of less than 27 minutes increased
the distance at which the sparks would jump to more than one inch, indicating
that the tension in their bodies became stronger with each (orgasmic)
intercourse of short duration.
These sparks, which may only be observed in individuals with strong
sexual energy, show that the skin is highly charged with bio-energy. This is
pleasurable and desirable as part of sexual foreplay but then it needs to be
discharged as part of a prolonged sexual union. If, instead, the skin
remains charged up because the following union is too short, then the
individual becomes tense and may in time develop stress-related symptoms and
diseases.
So, to summarize, orgasmic
intercourse for half an hour or more, with or without initial caressing, did
not produce any sparks and therefore appears to eliminate all tension.
Intercourse for half an hour or more was followed by a pleasant relaxation of
the whole body with increased love and happiness of the couple and no desire
for another sexual connection for 5 or more days. If the intercourse lasted for
an hour this contentment lasted for one week, and after a 2-hour intercourse it
lasted for two weeks. This was true even when there was an early ejaculation
but they remained sexually connected with a non-erect penis. Later von Urban
found these observations confirmed by reports of other couples.
South Sea
Islanders: Von Urban also describes the sexual practices of some Melanesian
societies as confirming the experiences of the Arabian couple. Foreplay with
kissing and caressing takes at least half an hour, but a man never touches the
clitoris. Then they connect with their sexual organs and lie motionless
together for at least another half hour before starting movements, and after
orgasm they remain sexually connected for a long time. On nights when they did
not have sex they slept skin to skin but without any kissing or caressing. They
had intercourse not more than about every five days, and sexual problems seemed
to be unknown in these societies. They made fun of what they regarded as the
immature sexual practices of Westerners.
The Neurotic
Woman: A beautiful young woman was terrified of men, but
after falling in love with a medical assistant of von Urban eventually agreed
to marry him on the condition that he would not try to have sex with her. After
six weeks, they finally spend their first night together, naked but without any
sexual contact. After about half an hour of lying together both experienced an
indescribable delight and rapture that lasted the whole night.
However, after 7 hours they had to separate or they
would get a feeling of suffocation unless they had a shower, and then they
could continue lying blissfully together. During the day they felt
exceptionally happy, relaxed and energetic. For 14 years they practiced this
celestial type of love-making until they tried conventional sex and lost it. As
with the Arabian couple, their experiences were enhanced by having a shower
before lying together.
Von Urban’s
Six Rules of Perfect Sex
Preparation: A day chosen for making love should be filled with mutual kindness and
affection. A period of love play with kissing and caressing should precede the
sex act. Clitoral stimulation should be avoided. Woman who are used to clitoral
orgasms should gradually, within a few weeks or months, be helped to refocus on
vaginal stimulation.
Comment: Von Urban believed that clitoral stimulation increases
tension and makes deep relaxation of the whole body more difficult, and if one
is used to clitoral stimulation it also may make it more difficult to achieve
deep vaginal orgasm. The main goal for von Urban was not creating strong
excitement and coming quickly to an orgasm but rather having a loving and
strongly bonding connection with a partner. This does not mean that everyone
needs to do it this way, von Urban just believed that it gave the best
long-term results in regard to health and relationships.
Position: The partners should adopt a position that allows them to remain fully
relaxed during a long intercourse. Preferred is the Scissor Position: the woman
lies on her back with knees drawn to the chest, while the male lies on his left
side crosswise to her, so that his penis touches the entrance of the vagina.
She now drops her legs and he places his right leg
between her legs. With this, her left leg is between his legs while her right
calf rests on his torso. Sides may be reversed.
The man places the tip of the penis at the opened
entrance of the vagina. Now all kissing and caressing should cease and both
lovers focus on the energy streams between their sexual organs. It does not
matter if the penis is soft or erect. After half an hour and full exchange of
sexual energy the penis usually becomes erect and may now enter provided that
the vagina is naturally moist. The use of oil is discouraged as it slows the
exchange of energy (but this should not be a problem with long connections),
and condoms must be avoided (except possibly temporarily for the purpose of
ejaculation) because they block the exchange of bio-energy and lead to
increased body tension. These recommendations are for couples in long-term
relationships, for casual encounters use safe sex practices.
Duration: After the man has learned to control his ejaculation, the 30 minutes outside
the vagina are no longer required. For a long connection of one to three hours
the couple remains mainly motionless or with slow movements. If ejaculation
occurs prematurely, the soft penis should remain inside until at least half an
hour since entering. If unwanted pregnancy needs to be avoided then withdraw
shortly for ejaculation, urination and washing, and then connect again the
penis to the inner lips.
Concentration:
During the whole sex act from preparation to finish
the couple should focus on each other and what they are doing, become aware of
the sensations where they are touching and the energy flows within and between
them.
Relaxation: It is essential to relax not only physically by choosing a suitable
position, but also mentally and emotionally. Any kind of worry, guilt or
preoccupation with work or family problems prevents relaxation and full
exchange of bio-energy. Try to overcome such problems by dealing with them at
other times, and use relaxation exercises and meditation to switch off when you
want to. Another problem is that a woman may suppress her sex drive because of
previous abuse or disappointment, and may resist subconsciously. This can
usually be overcome with much tenderness, love and patience of her partner.
Frequency: While this may depend mainly
on the desire of the partners, von Urban observed that generally after a
30 minute intercourse with proper preparation couples are happy with a five day
interval, after one hour intercourse with one-week, and after two hours with two-week
intervals. He regards a sufficient interval as important to fully recharge the
body batteries with bio-energy.
Comment
Von Urban’s observations seem to show that the
undesirable effects of conventional orgasmic sex may be mainly due to
unreleased body tensions rather than hormonal changes per se, although hormonal
changes may be a result of bio-energetic changes. The increased contentment and
happiness after von Urban’s Perfect Sex appears to be the same as after
Karezza, and would be due to the combination of persistently raised oxytocin
levels and increased relaxation.
The rest period of five days to two weeks between
orgasmic events may mean that prolactin rises and testosterone receptor levels
fall as after conventional orgasm, but that the duration of the changes depends
on the degree to which the body tensions have been neutralized. If there is a
prolonged reduction or fluctuation of dopamine levels as after conventional
sex, it may be offset by increased oxytocin so that overall there is no negative
emotional effect. My personal view is that high oxytocin levels will probably
stabilize dopamine levels.
It is not clear if after Karezza there is a 5 to 14
day period of decreased desire for sexual union as after Perfect Sex. Some
authors, such as Stockham seem to say so and advocate a waiting period of two
weeks or longer between Karezza encounters, while some modern couples may
connect daily but often just lie peacefully together or in a meditative state
or just snuggle up for comfort. Any period of decreased desire may be much less
pronounced with Karezza and mainly due to contentment of being in a
bio-energetic equilibrium rather than to an unfavorable hormonal effect.
I suggest that for full heart-centered Karezza
sessions a rest period of several days may be appropriate similar as for
Perfect Sex to fully charge our sexual batteries, but that for meditation or
comfort short daily connections are also fine. For more details on Perfect Sex
see http://www.health-science-spirit.com/Sexuality.html.
SEX AND HEALTH
According to psychological studies and statistics in
the longer term the vast majority of sexual relationships cause more distress
and unhappiness rather than happiness. It is obvious, at least to me, that
stress due to failing relationships also has a major impact on our health,
emotionally and biologically. Even medical thinking now regards stress as an
underlying problem that aggravates all other diseases.
Sexual factors that may contribute to health problems
are nutrient deficiencies, hormonal and bio-energetic imbalances, and emotional
distress. Several of these may be involved in any one case, and they cannot
always be identified.
Nutrient deficiencies relate mainly to loss of ejaculate. The seminal fluid is high in zinc and
requires much vitamin B6 and omega-3 fatty acids, which are found in fish oils
and linseed oil. Deficiency of these is widespread, especially in teenage boys
with frequent loss of seminal fluid. The same deficiencies are common in
schizophrenia, which starts most frequently in teenage boys. I believe that
there is a causal connection.
Formerly
doctors maintained that excessive masturbation could lead to insanity. They may
have been right after all although, without proper investigation, modern
medicine dismisses this as a myth. Zinc deficiency also leads to underdeveloped
male sexual organs and later in life to enlargement of the prostate gland. By
pointing out these connections I do not want to create guilt about masturbation
but rather improve nutritional awareness. Also orgasm and schizophrenia are
both associated with high and unstable levels of dopamine, while during
depression dopamine levels are low.
A medical
arthritis specialist observed that arthritis tends to get worse with frequent
ejaculation (Arthritis can be Cured
by Bernard Aschner, MD, Arco Publ. N.Y.).
Hormonal
imbalances, especially dopamine excess or deficiency seem to be the greatest contributors
to addictive behaviours, such as drug abuse, compulsive behavior and gambling
as well as aggression, violence and attention deficit disorder. Oxytocin, on
the other hand, has a beneficial influence on these problems. For a referenced
discussion of this subject see http://www.reuniting.info/science/sex_and_addiction.
The main
factor in raising our stress levels is probably the inability to discharge
bio-energetic static. One common example is watching exciting movies that fire
us up, and then going to bed without releasing the induced tension. It is
likewise with conventional sex. Initially the body may get charged with skin
stimulation and anticipation, but then there is little release, especially for
women, if the union lasts for less than 30 minutes. No wonder many women
develop gynaecological problems, nervous complaints or hysteria (from hystera – the womb), or just switch off
and abstain from sex.
Von
Urban’s solution to relieve single or otherwise frustrated women of sexual and
bio-energetic tension is a warm douche at bedtime on alternate nights. The
duration is from ten to twenty minutes while lying in a bathtub. The water is
supplied by fitting some rubber tubing over the tap. This is very relaxing and
not meant to induce an orgasm, but will help to provide a peaceful sleep.
All
diseases and health problems of the sexual organs are likely to be linked to unhealthy
sex practices. This includes not only cancers and infections of the sexual
organs but also in other parts of the body. Even tumor growth and metastasis are stimulated by
stress hormones. Oxytocin counteracts the effects of stress hormones, and less
stress means increased immunity and faster recovery. Oxytocin receptors
have also been discovered in tumors. Therefore, oxytoxin has a growth
inhibiting effect on cancer, especially prostate and breast cancer - the more
oxytocin the less tumor growth can be expected.
In the following are some of the
statements for which you can find scientific references at http://www.reuniting.info/science/research:
·
frequent
hugs between partners associated with lower blood pressure and more oxytocin
·
touch and
psychological support are health-promoting due to increased oxytocin
·
oxytocin
strongly protects organs from damage due to blood infection
·
kissing
may have positive implications for allergic patients
·
oxytocin
speeds wound healing and reduces pain
·
oxytocin
counters addiction and soothes withdrawal symptoms
·
massage
aids detoxification for alcohol, oxytocin rises during massage
·
oxytocin
reduces anxiety and stress
·
less
oxytocin results in more aggression and less caring
·
oxytocin
regulates cell proliferation and inhibits breast and prostate cancer
·
oxytocin
increases the receptivity of females
·
oxytocin
imbalance may underlie impotence and alleviate erectile dysfunction
·
patients
with autism and psychiatric disorders improve with oxytocin
·
oxytocin
involved in learning and memory
At the
same site is an equally impressive collection of research references showing
the health disadvantages of orgasmic sex.
Hypertension
and Stress
As an
example of the benefits of healthy sex von Urban mentions the following case.
At a neuro-psychiatric conference he presented a difficult case cured with his
Perfect Sex method within 8 weeks of high blood pressure, stomach ulcers and
inability to work. A leading expert doubted that a change in sexual practices
could have normalized high blood pressure. Von Urban asked this expert to send
him his most difficult and hopeless case. Ten days after seeing the patient his
blood pressure was almost normal.
It should
be noted that in contrast Wilhelm Reich, who advocated orgasmic sex for release
of excess bio-energy, died of heart attack probably associated with high blood
pressure, and his wife suffered from severe hypertension.
Von Urban
also presents the case of a young woman who had been diagnosed as
schizophrenic, temporarily institutionalized and treated with electric shock. A
few weeks after changing sexual habits she became and remained completely
‘normal’.
Considering
the vast amount of hypertension, mental and other stress-related conditions in
our society, and that von Urban demonstrated the effectiveness of his method
only 60 years ago, I do not expect to see it discussed in medical journals or
the mass-media any time soon.
I do not
want to imply that sexual energy is the only factor causing or curing the
discussed diseases, rather there are usually several factors coming together,
and if one of them is changed from being detrimental to being beneficial, then
this can be sufficient to overcome the health problem.
Furthermore, most
of those with a chronic disease, and especially cancer, are emotionally rather
fragile, and benefit greatly from a close-bonding loving relationship to
elevate oxytocin. This is also beneficial with heart disease and
mental-emotional conditions, such as depression and addictions.
High levels of testosterone are a negative factor with
prostate cancer, and high estrogen levels with most breast cancers. But when we
are in love (or create a feeling of love with increased oxytocin), levels of
sex hormone in both genders become more like each other. Males become less
aggressive, gentler and more spiritual, while females produce more testosterone
to make them bolder and balance excessive estrogen levels.
For the Lack
of a Cuddle
Anorexia
nervosa develops mainly in teenage girls. This immediately suggests a
connection to sexuality. I was intrigued to read that one of the more
successful methods recommends, in addition to other measures, using a warm vest
to provide a feeling of being warm and protected. That reminds me of an
experiment with monkeys. Immediately after birth they were separated from their
mothers and raised with two substitute 'mothers'. One was a wire structure
containing a food bottle with nipple and the other was with terry cloth over
the wire, heated by an electric bulb inside. The young monkeys adopted the
cloth-covered structure as their mother substitute and were distressed when it
was temporarily removed. The bottle structure was just a feeding machine to
them.
All these monkeys
became disturbed emotionally as well as in their behaviour when growing up, and
they were unable to perform the sexual act successfully on maturity. Touch was
emotionally more important to them than food. That is exactly what happens with
anorexia nervosa. From this it is easy to see that the most curative method for
these and other teenagers with emotional problems would be prolonged skin
contact in a safe environment to raise oxytocin levels, and especially
non-sexual, affectionate contact with someone of the opposite sex, as a
bio-energetic boost.
It was often worse for human infants who were raised
in church or government institutions without even a cloth mother substitute.
One of the worst aspects for a baby is the feeling of not being wanted, and
especially if it experiences hostility from one or both parents. A difficult
birth with forceps and glaring lights is traumatic, also surgery and a negative
attitude of some of those present at birth. Even worse is the prolonged removal
of the baby from the mother in most hospitals. All of these generate stress
hormones while more than anything else babies need persistent contact with the
mother or a suitable human substitute to generate soothing and bonding
oxytocin.
Presently there is a rapidly rising incidence of
self-harm reported to affect up to 20% of teenagers, and even more teenage
girls. While teenage boys tend to release their internal tensions through
outward aggression and harming others, girls tend to harm themselves. Princess
Diana admitted to it. This is not really new and was reported in former
centuries and millennia. In the 19th century girls used to stick
needles into their skin, and were medically known as the ‘needle girls’. At
present cutting with razor blades is more fashionable.
The reported reason for doing this is unbearable
emotional tension. It provides essential stress relief, and some girls say it
keeps them alive so that they do not need to suicide. This tension starts with
puberty and abates towards the end of teenage years. Self-harm is also related
to eating disorders and is prevalent in detention facilities and
nunneries.
We can now understand this behavior according to von
Urban’s model of a stress-based bio-energetically charged skin. When in pain,
bio-energy is released together with feeling energy, and this pain-induced
release of bio-energy is what keeps these girls sane. Also the opposite can be
observed, pain due to various known or unknown causes can be relieved by
appropriate skin contact.
There is, of course, the same solution as mentioned
above for anorexia, mental problems and hypertension: providing prolonged skin
contact in a safe environment with someone of the opposite sex.A special time of
the week may be selected where the whole family joins in gently massaging each
other, especially the back, neck, shoulders and the feet. Also holding hands
provides good energy exchange, especially between the right hand of a male and
the left hand of a female.
Reducing
Stress and Tension
Bio-energetic
static and emotional-energetic blockages are probably major factors not only
with hypertension, mental problems and other stress-related conditions, but
also in the present epidemic of hip, knee and lower back problems, leg cramps
as well as gynecological and other disorders in the pelvic area, including
impotence and frigidity. Persistent bio-energetic static and its associated
emotional blockages tend to cause muscle tension with permanently reduced
blood, lymph and nerve supply to these areas, and makes them susceptible to
infections, arthritis and other health deterioration.
According
to the findings of von Urban and the experiences of couples practicing Karezza,
the easiest way of reducing such persistent tensions is prolonged quiet skin
and possibly sexual contact with a partner of the opposite sex, basically as a
long period of relaxation or meditation. While superficial tensions may be
eliminated in one session, deeper muscle tensions are caused by a life-time of
sexual frustration, and may require many repetitions of lying together while
using guided imagery and pleasurable feelings to melt the corresponding
emotional blockages.
Emotionally deprived
children grow into adults with antisocial or asocial tendencies. On one side of
the scale this manifests as violent, criminal and destructive behaviour, and on
the other as shyness, lack of confidence, self-destructive
behaviour, and depression. Often our sexual problems start already right after
birth if we are bottle-fed instead of enjoying mother’s breast, or worse, if we
are separated from our mother for a prolonged period. This tends to make it
difficult later to bond to a partner. Even with relatively good parenting our
evolving sexuality causes enormous tensions and stresses while growing up in
our society and most adults will experience emotional and health problems due
our general ignorance in regard to balancing our sexual energy.
Compare
our Western upbringing to the way von Urban describes how children were raised
in some more advanced native societies. He writes “The Melanesians are certain
that children whose sex impulses are not correctly developed can never become
experts in love.” Sexual training is considered to be most important for the
future happiness in the love life of their children. They encourage children to
pay attention to their sexual feelings. There is a lot of touching, caressing
and skin contact between adults and children in native societies.
The chief
of an African tribe expressed his astonishment to an early explorer that
Westerners do not provide sexual training to their children. He believed this
to be more important than any other kind of training, as healthy sexual
development not only provides bliss for the individual, but also a harmonious
family and tribal life.
Also “In
some tribes of Central Africa masturbation is taught by an elder of the
opposite sex”, and to abate sexual tension “old women quietly lay their hands
on the testicles of little boys, and old men on the vulvas of little girls,
holding them thus for some time.” Professor Malinowsky noted that such
practices were more satisfactory than masturbation. Why? Because masturbation,
while providing local relaxation, increases overall bodily tension, while skin
contact with the opposite sex reduces it. Therefore prolonged non-sexual skin
contact between boys and girls, or child and parent of the opposite sex, would
probably be a good way to improve hyperactivity, attention deficit, shyness,
autism, violence, self-harm and related problem.
There
seems to be a complete absence of sexual and stress related conditions in
native societies described by Malinowsky. In our society children’s sexuality
is so misdirected that sexual violence, rape and many forms of sexual
inhibition, frustration and abuse, emotional problems, mental diseases and
other stress-related conditions are a frequent outcome in adult life. This
shows that we could learn much from native practices.
As these
native people could observe all varieties of loving sexual activity, it had no
unhealthy fascination or obsession for them, as it has for most people in our
society. Consequently, abuse of children, rape, or other forms of violence,
were unknown to them. Sexual activity to them was as natural and open as eating
to us. No doubt, if eating would be regarded as 'dirty' and
restricted in the same way as sexuality, and children and others would not be
allowed to see us eat, most of us would have neuroses associated with eating.
According
to Malinowsky such open native sexual education does not necessarily result in
early pregnancies. Properly taught Karezza would not only lead to a healthier
society at all levels, but would also curb the unsustainable overpopulation of
our planet.
What many
singles and especially women miss even more than sex is touching and hugging.
Some try to satisfy this need with regular massage therapy. However, there may
be a simple solution, just form a local "hug club". Discretely spread
the word and you may be surprised by the amount of interest in hugging 'out
there'. You may also form or join a healing group where hugging may be
practiced together with other self-healing techniques.
SEX AND REJUVENATION
There are
many hints of rejuvenation and increased longevity due to sacred sexual
practices. Some of it, such as increased longevity in harmonious relationships,
and longer lives of care-giving parents could just be due to persistently
raised oxytocin levels. However, there are also ancient practices, especially
based on Tao, that deliberately use sexual energy to rejuvenate and increase
longevity. Also according to information channelled by Edgar Cayce we can achieve complete regeneration (perfect operation of the
endocrine system) if we cleanse and purify the reproductive center.
In the
1930’s Peter Kelder wrote the now famous Eye
of Revelation with the 5 Rites of Rejuvenation, or the 5 Tibetans.
Thousands and possibly Millions faithfully did these exercises every day
without doing the one that really mattered to draw sexual energy up the spine.
That was probably because Kelder’s instructions for the sixth rite were
somewhat vague.
The rite is only
practiced when sexually excited. One is to stand and bend over with the hands
on the knees and push all the air out of the lungs. Then straighten up and with
the hands on the hips push up the shoulders. Pull the stomach in and up and
hold this position as long as possible. Then forcefully inhale through the nose
and exhale immediately through the mouth. The arms may now hang to the sides
while you take further deep breaths through the nose or the mouth. If one is
still sexually excited, the same procedure may be repeated as often as
necessary.
However, Kelder did
not write how to cause the sexual excitement that generates the sexual energy
to be drawn up and distributed through the body. A more detailed and
substantial body of instructions is now available thanks to the work of Mantak
Chia in collaboration with Michael Winn in their Series of Healing Tao Books.
Healing Tao Books
Mantak Chia
was a Chinese who had studied with various Taoist (or Daoist) masters before
coming to New York 30 years ago. He seems to be the first modern Tao master who
openly teaches previously secret Taoist methods of using sexual energy for
rejuvenation, longevity and spiritual development. This system uses sexual energy as the primary fuel to be refined by
spiritual practice. Instead of releasing sexual energy in form of an orgasm, it
is channeled up the spine and then down the front in what is called the ‘Microcosmic
Orbit’. In this way it remains available to heal and rejuvenate the body, while
any surplus is stored in the area behind the navel.
First you practice to learn the two basic skills of
avoiding an orgasm and circulating energy in the Microcosmic Orbit. Initially
it is advisable to practice alone with self-pleasuring. This is called ‘single
cultivation’. You stop shortly before the orgasm, and with breath control and
imagination draw the energy upwards. Chia calls this the Big Draw for men and
the Orgasmic Upward Draw for women. When able to do this it is preferable to
use ‘dual cultivation’ with a partner of the opposite sex as it involves
exchanging male and female sexual energies.
When sufficiently advanced, pleasure can be derived
from repeated ‘valley orgasms’ during long periods of love-making and with
repeated Upward Draws of energy. It is possible to continue practicing alone or
with a same-sex partner but then one may need to use additional methods of
attracting the missing opposite-sex energies.
Some of the relevant books by Mantak Chia are Taoist Secrets of Love: Cultivating Male
Sexual Energy (1984), Healing Love:
Cultivating Female Sexual Energy (1986), Awaken Healing Light of the Tao (1993), The Multi-Orgasmic Man (1996), and The Multi-Orgasmic Couple (2000) published by Healing Tao Books,
Huntington, New York. In addition there is a global network of certified Tao
teachers, see www.universal-tao.com.
Circulating the
Energy
It appears the
Microcosmic Orbit was developed 2000 years ago by Taoists as a sexual practice
to rejuvenate the brain and later evolved to become a spiritual practice. In
addition to using activated sexual energy, you may practice the Orbit by
accumulating energy during meditation, imagining energy entering through the
crown center at the top of the head or by condensing breath energy.
To learn
circulating energy, you need to have a basic understanding of the chakra
system. These are 7 major and numerous minor etheric vortices that distribute
bio-energy within our body. When you have a good feeling sensation of the
energy either from breathing into the abdomen or from activating sexual energy,
you imagine this sensation flowing towards the perineum and the base of the
spine.
Now imagine a valve
opening at the tailbone and with each inhalation you lift the energy higher up
the spine, while holding it during exhalations. Imagine that your spine is a
straight hollow tube through which the energy flows and continue to lift it all
the way to the top of the head. Reinforce it with energy entering the top of
the head and then lead it down in steps to the center of the forehead, the
throat, the middle of the breastbone, the stomach and finally you store it
behind the navel as a ball of energy.
When leading the
energy down it helps to touch the roof of the mouth with the tip of the tongue.
When needed, this energy may be reactivated with your intention and used for
healing yourself or others by directing it with your mind where you want it to
go. It may also be used for tasks with high-energy requirement and is the same
energy that masters of the martial arts aim to cultivate and use.
When you can
readily feel the circulating energy and the various centers on its path, you
may also use a short-form to quickly energize and center yourself. Imagine the
energy entering the top of the head and rapidly jumping down from one center to
the next to the base of the spine. Then with one inhalation lift the energy to
the top of the head and with the next exhalation drop it again down to the
base. In all this energy work imagine and feel the energy moving below the
surface of the skin.
Instead of the Big
Draw when close to orgasm, you may constantly draw up sexual energy in a ‘Slow
Draw’, especially during prolonged love-making as in Karezza. You do this by
keeping part of your mind focused on your third eye area between the eyebrows,
best by turning your closed eyes up and inwards as if looking at this point.
Then with each slow inhalation you imagine sexual energy moving up the spine to
the top, while during the slow exhalation you let the energy fall down the
front and back to the sexual organs, not forgetting to keep the tongue against
the roof of the mouth.
If this sounds too
formidable, just start out by keeping your focus on the third eye and feel love
radiating from the heart. The slow draw is also suitable in a meditative state
with or without gentle self-pleasuring or early morning erections or other
states of gentle arousal.
For more details
see www.health-science-spirit.com/bioenergies.html.
Strengthening
Sexual Energy
The strength of our sexual energy is a function of our
overall vitality or vital energy. Therefore, if our overall vitality is low,
then we do not have much sexual energy available to circulate in the
Microcosmic Orbit. Furthermore, by frequently drawing the energy up, it may
initially deplete our available sexual energy. Apart from conserving energy
through non-orgasmic intercourse, there are many techniques to strengthen these
energies.
One such method is the Inner Smile. In its simplest
form we may just smile at people we meet, at a tree, a flower, a cloud or the
sky or landscape. As a more deliberate exercise we may close the eyes, focus on
the third eye point between the eyebrows and smile in succession at every major
organ and gland in our body.
Another important method is concentrating breath
energy. This may be done with any organ in need of healing, but for this
purpose we may breathe into the sex organs. Inhale deeply into the abdomen, and
during a slow exhalation imagine the bio-energy in the inhaled air being
compressed into the testicles or ovaries.
Due to decades of sexual tensions most of us have
permanently tense and weak muscles between the top of the pelvis and the knees.
This is like an old battery that cannot hold much charge. Use massage,
vibrating, shaking, relaxation exercise and guided imagery to soften their
contracted core.
Also do pelvic floor exercises. In addition to
rhythmically contracting and relaxing the whole pelvic floor, selectively push
forward to contract only the front part. In men this gives an impulse to the
penis, woman may also rhythmically contract the vaginal opening. This forward
pressure is used to prevent loss of energy when near orgasm, while selective
contraction around the anus and tailbone helps to lead the energy up the spine.
Other common techniques are tai-chi and chi-gong. In
these practices we imagine and feel energy being drawn into our body from our
environment. Walking barefoot on grass or moist soil or swimming in the sea
enhances and cleanses our aura. The north-pointing pole of a magnet, like the
right palm, has an energy that is similar to the yang or male sexual energy,
while the energy of the south-pointing pole or the left palm is similar to the
yin or female sexual energy. In Tao philosophy the heavenly or spiritual
energies entering through the top of the head are male or yang, while the earth
energies are female or yin. Generally female energies are soothing and
relaxing, and male energies stimulating and activating.
Food for Sex
We cannot have strong sexual energy if we are
malnourished. Our life force from which we generate sexual energy is similar to
the bio-energy in raw food. Therefore, raw food has a much stronger vitalising
effect than cooked food.
High-quality proteins are part of the seminal fluid
and a high protein diet is sexually stimulating. In our culture meat is
preferred while in the Orient chickpeas are used to improve sexual performance.
The highest reputation has free-range raw fertilised egg yolk. It supplies
sulphur compounds that are also high in the semen. However, even more effective
than egg yolk is raw minced meat.
The seminal fluid is also high in zinc and requires
much vitamin B6 and omega-3 fatty acids, which are found in fish oils and
linseed oil. Deficiency of these is widespread, especially with frequent loss
of seminal fluid. Fish oils are also required for natural vaginal lubrication.
The body forms nitric oxide from the amino acid
arginine as a signal for the blood vessels of the penis to relax. This is
necessary so that the penis can fill with blood and have an erection. Also
magnesium supplements help to relax. Stress, on the other hand, or being
emotionally uptight, prevents this necessary relaxation and, with this, an
erection.
Various herbs and alkaloids have traditionally been
used to improve various sexual functions. Commonly used for improving and
balancing the endocrine system in general and sexual hormones in particular is
Maca (botanical
name Lepidium meyenii). It appears to be more effective than Wild Yam
and is especially helpful with
age-related sexual problems. Also Tribulus terrestris is frequently used to
improve sexual functions.
SEX AND
SPIRITUALITY
Sexuality is
closely related to spirituality in several ways. In its negative aspects of
lust, sexual excess, degradation and rape, it appears as the antithesis of spirituality,
and in this light it has been seen in the Christian tradition. However, in its
positive aspects our sexuality can open our heart to love, and enable us to
have experiences similar to meditative states and mystical bliss during or
instead of an orgasm and its afterglow. In a less obvious way, sexual energies
can be channeled upward to develop our energy centers or chakra system and
higher energy bodies. According to esoteric and yoga teachings, this is all
part of our spiritual evolution.
The idea of
celibacy for priests, nuns and monks is to spiritualize sexual energies as in
meditation, rituals and other devotional practices. While this generally
involves conscious exercises as in yoga, Christian mystics commonly transformed
their energies without conscious awareness through intense devotion. If
religious celibates fight to suppress their sexuality, they misunderstand the
deeper reason for the practice of celibacy, and block their spiritual evolution
on that level. If devotional practices do not lead to the transmutation of
sexual energies then it is much better to find a natural outlet. Suppression
always leads to problems.
There are hundreds
of different Tantric, Taoist, yogic and meditation techniques to transform
sexual energy into kundalini or spiritual energy. Sexual energy is a denser
part of our general life force energy, which can be liberated as kundalini
energy and led upwards. Its ultimate purpose is to facilitate spiritual growth
by developing our chakra system and higher energy bodies.
What is Spirituality?
In this context
‘spirituality’ means to me an effort to speed up our evolution of
consciousness, which then becomes manifest in the functions of our energy
bodies and the formation of higher energy bodies. I see the next stage in the
spiritual evolution of humanity as forming a society based on cooperation, love
and compassion. In some way this is a high ideal of all religions, but
especially expressed in Buddhism and Christianity. Love and compassion are the
expressions of an opened heart center. Therefore the practice of Karezza is
especially relevant at this time.
Tantric, Taoist and
yogic methods try to go further by fast developing the whole chakra system and
a higher energy body, which Taoists call the immortal body, and which may
correspond to the light body of New Age philosophy. However, apart from
achieving various temporary states of bliss and psychic happenings, few seem to
be really successful in this way and also so-called brain or spiritual orgasms
may still be related to dopamine activity.
Tantra and Kundalini Yoga
Tantra and
kundalini yoga originate from the Hindu tradition. Both methods aim to lead
sexual energy upwards, Tantra in ritualized male-female interaction, and
kundalini yoga in strict individual practice; both methods entail semen
retention. As a reward there may be a brain orgasm and various states of
blissful conditions. Traditionally Tantra was seen and used as a method to
enable men to achieve enlightenment, while women were only used as tools, even
if they were ritually worshipped as Goddesses. This has changed in modern
western practices where women are now complete equals of men.
I see the main
problem with these methods as being one-way streets of energy flow from the
base of the spine to the top. This tends to lead to unbalanced development by
over-stimulating the head centers at the expense of the heart center.
Furthermore drawing up too much sexual energy may in time deplete overall
vitality. Also I am not impressed with the abilities of practitioners of these
systems to rejuvenate.
There is probably
no problem with these methods for beginners, but various reports indicate
problems may result from continued over-stimulation of the brain. This seems to
be increasingly acknowledged by modern Tantra and kundalini practitioners who
now have added the Microcosmic Orbit to their practices. For an interesting
overview of the modern Tantra, kundalini and Tao scene see The Quest for Spiritual Orgasm by Michael Winn (http://www.healingtaobritain.com/p67magazinequestforspiritualorgasm.htm).
Enlightenment
is in the Vagina
You may think I try to be cheeky or provocative with
the statement: ”Enlightenment is in the vagina”, but this is one of the
authenticated sayings of the Buddha, and it leaves us with the problem of how
to understand or interpret this. It seems to turn our usual understanding of
enlightenment on its head.
The actual phrase in Sanscrit is: "Buddhatvam
Yosityonisamasritam." This may also
be translated as: ”Enlightenment is in the female sexual organ(s)”. This same
view is expressed in various sacred Tantric texts. There appears to be much hidden
sexual activity involving female consorts in some Tibetan Buddhist Sects.
Western Buddhists, on the other hand, apparently do not know what to make of
this saying, and therefore tend to ignore it, although I know of one Western
Buddhist in Thailand who took this to mean that lots of intoxicating orgasmic
sex is the road to enlightenment. But there is also another Buddhist saying
that refers to orgasms as killing the inner Buddha.
My understanding of the first saying is that it refers
to female sexual energy which is required for a male monk to become androgynic,
meaning that male and female energies become balanced in an individual. This
may be achieved by dual cultivation as with Tantra or having a female consort,
or by single cultivation as with energy meditation. This is really the same
process that we also see in Taoist practices and in the Gnostic Gospels. It has
nothing to do with surgical or hormonal gender changes. The second saying
simply means that by wasting our sexual energy with orgasms we do not have
enough left over for enlightenment.
In the eight century, a female Buddha, Lady Yeshe
Tsogyel, achieved enlightenment through mutual Tantric
practice. She explains that women must control their sexual energies just like
men need to control their ejaculation if they would cultivate spiritual
enlightenment.
“If there is leakage of sexual energy, the Buddha
Unchanging Light is slain...Therefore, with the power of retraction, drawing up
'love' with the base energy of life-force, I held it in the pot of my belly,
and maintaining the recollection of pleasure uncontaminated by lust, divesting
myself of mind-created Samadhi, yet not slipping into an instant of torpor, I
experienced the ascent of Awareness.”
This passage explains in beautiful simplicity the
process of Taoist internal alchemy: produce a feeling of sexual pleasure, draw
this feeling from the sexual organs into the abdomen, continue to increase it
with mindfulness, and at the same time lead the feeling of meditative bliss
from the head into the abdomen. Energy flow then follows the feelings. In the
abdomen the heavenly or male energy from the head centers interacts or
copulates with the female earth energy of the sexual and base centers.
The ultimate goal of Taoist energy cultivation is the
formation of an immortal body. This is not a physical body but a higher energy
body, a light body. In the same way as in esoteric Buddhist practice this is
achieved by combining male and female sexual energies so that the practitioner
becomes androgynic. This takes place initially in the area behind the navel
where the converted sex energy has been accumulated by practicing the
Microcosmic Orbit or an equivalent method.
Our major male-female poles are at the top and the
bottom of the spine. This is like an energy axis between two spinning vortices
with a secondary male-female split between the right and left side of our body.
The internal alchemy or inner copulation of these poles then creates the divine
child or immortal light body. To be successful we need not only a strong sexual
pole but also a strong crown or heavenly pole formed by regular meditation and
a spiritual attitude.
Lao Tzu explained the immortal light body thus: It is
self-aware yet without ego, capable of inhabiting a biological body yet not
attached to it, and guided by wisdom rather than emotion. Whole and virtuous,
it can never die.
However, Edgar Cayce warned that if you raise the
kundalini before you can control your sexual energy it simply inflames your
sexual desire and causes problems on your spiritual path. As a general advice
this means practice Karezza or the Microcosmic Orbit until you can use your
sexual energy without being confronted with uncontrollable desires.
The Sacrament
of the Bridal Chamber
A similar picture emerges from the Gnostic Gospels.
Apparently these gospels by the disciples of Jesus have been rejected by the
official Christian churches because they imply that Jesus had secret teachings
for his disciples. These teachings seem to have been the basis of Jewish Christianity
under the leadership of James the Just, but were lost with the destruction of
Jerusalem by the Romans. Western
Christianity is based on the doctrines of Paul who did not know Jesus
personally and therefore did not receive these teachings. Most great spiritual
teachers reserved advanced teachings for those who could understand them. So we
read in the Gospel of Thomas:
(22) "When you make the two into one, and when
you make the inner like the outer and the outer like the inner, and the upper
like the lower, and when you make male and female into a single one, so that
the male will not be male nor the female be female, ….. then you will enter
(the kingdom).”
This basically says that we must become androgynic to
enter the kingdom of heaven. There is no chance that the general public would
have understood this. Also consider the following:
(114) Simon Peter said to him, "Let
Mary leave us, for women are not worthy of (eternal) life."
Jesus said, "I myself shall lead her in order to make her male, so that
she too may become a living spirit resembling you males. For every woman who
will make herself male will enter the kingdom of heaven."
This, too, refers to androgyny. The means to achieve
this is the Sacrament of the Bridal Chamber. It is alluded to in various
Gnostic Gospels. Jesus taught various sacraments, the Gospel
of Philip, states that there were the holy baptism, the holier
atonement, and the "holy of the holies," the sacrament of the bridal
chamber, in which participants "put on the light" or "chrism"
and return to oneness. Androgyny is also a central part of other religions
where deities in Taoist, Hindu and Buddhist art are often shown as part male
and part female.
There are no direct descriptions of the Sacrament of
the Bridal Chamber, but it is clothed in sexual symbology and seems to have
been practiced as a sacred male-female union without orgasm, also described as
pure embrace or undefiled intercourse. Possibly both methods were used as in
Tao and Kundalini-Tantra practices. Dual cultivation appears to be by far
easier for equalizing male and female energies. However, there is also the
following description which may indicate single cultivation:
Epiphanius mentions a Gnostic writing called "The
Great Questions of Mary" where Jesus gave Mary Magdalene a revelation on a
mountain. According to this Jesus produced forth a woman from his side, akin to
the generation of Eve in the Garden of Genesis. Jesus had sex with her, and
then consumed his own semen. (novusordoseclorum-oai.org/documents/magdalene.htm).
This description is interesting as not only the
mythical Eve was created in this way from the androgynic Adam, and together they
populated the world, but also in Hindu mythology Shiva produced his consort in
the same way and they then copulated to produce the world. All of these
describe a male-female split of the divine androgyne, and the sexual union of
both parts then produced an immortal light body, the human race, or the world.
It is clear that descriptions of secret teachings such
as the above are disguised so that only the initiated understand the true
meaning. From what we know now we may assume that Jesus demonstrated to Mary
how to focus sexual energy into a male and female energy pole, and then unite
these polarized energies to create a higher energy body. The swallowing of
semen could be symbolic for retaining his seed and actually not ejaculating.
However there was apparently a long tradition in ancient religions, including Gnostics
and possibly early Christianity, to swallow one's semen for ritual purpose.
This is called semenatophagy, for more
information see http://sacredsemen.com/.
Here a final quote from the Gospel of Philip: “If
anyone becomes a son of the bridal chamber, he will receive the light. If
anyone does not receive it while he is here, he will not be able to receive it
in the other place. He who will receive that light will not be seen, nor can he
be detained. And none shall be able to torment a person like this, even while
he dwells in the world.”
According to the Gnostic Gospels the main purpose of
Jesus was to teach eternal life by re-creating the divine androgyne, and thus
overcoming the separation of the sexes in the Sacrament of the Bridal Chamber.
Being born again in this way with an immortal light body, any successful
follower was no longer a Christian but became a Christ (Gospel of Philip). The
real significance of the crucifixion and the crowning achievement of his life
was the reappearance of Jesus and his continued teaching in the materialized
form of his immortal light body. This was to demonstrate to his followers the
truth of his teachings about the divine androgyne and the eternal life.
Therefore, the real basis of the teachings of Jesus is sacred sexuality, the
same as in Buddhist, Hindu and Taoist teachings.