EMOTIONS & RELATIONSHIPS
By Walter Last
Emotion is the 'builder' of the body - the link between the 'architect', represented by the mind, and the mortar or glue, which is the bio-energy of the body. Food molecules provide the building blocks. If the emotions and feelings are weak or distorted, the body will be weak or distorted.
Occasional violent tempers throw the body into temporary disarray: they are like earthquakes or thunderstorms. However, the greatest damage is caused by repressed emotions, such as unexpressed anger, resentment or fear. These are like a permanently hostile climate under which the body suffers all the time. Therefore, learn to express your emotions in a suitable way.
If you are upset, tell the person who provoked it that you feel hurt and angry. However, do not accuse the other person, saying “You did this, which is bad and wrong”; instead say “I feel hurt by what you did”. Speak only of yourself.
If there are good intentions on both sides, partners can usually overcome problems by making it a habit to ask each other every night at bedtime or at suitable intervals whether there was something that annoyed the other partner. Then let the questioned partner speak without interruption. If this direct approach is too difficult at times, write down your thoughts, hurts and suggestions and give this list to your partner to read at suitable times. You may both keep a diary on matters about your relationship, and exchange it for reading and discussion from time to time. Do affirmations, visualisations and meditations together, working towards common goals.
In our relationships with our children it is essential to give them the feeling of security. This is done by a loving, understanding attitude with an unlimited amount of patience, and by keeping in close contact as long as they are babies. Let the baby sleep in your bed, and other children in your room as long as they want to. Carry the baby. If you cannot take her along occasionally, leave her with someone she trusts. As a mother, devote the first two or three years to your child; do not share them between your child and a job. The closer the contact during the first few years, the sooner the child will feel secure and start exploring, while an insecure child will become a constant nuisance to its parents and friends.
The greatest gift parents can give a child is to make it feel wanted and unconditionally loved, especially during pregnancy and early childhood. However, it is also important to provide firm guidance. Let the child know exactly what is not acceptable and strictly enforce important rules. This, too, gives security. Always do as you say; even if you threaten punishment, it must be carried out, or the child loses faith in your credibility.